This is an Eye Catching Title

I keep waiting for these phases in life when i feel both down and out. The whole world then just shrinks down and i start thinking a lot. A lot more than i usually do. But then i don't think about the things i normally think about. I think about death, and how fascinating death really is. I mean its THE only thing that removes all the pain and all the suffering from human life just like that. Human death brings pain to the near and dear ones but then suffering is a part of life, and really its a vicious circle and no one can escape it. For all i care about, i'm just eagerly awaiting the day it will all end for me.

Enough talking about death, its time to talk about life. Life in all its glory is meaningless. People who could never find any meaning in life tried to give it some meaning, while others wasted their time on this earth cribbing about how there is no purpose they can attach to their lives. Some people think they are leading a life different from others. Take for example how one fine day you could say that Bear Grylls leads a life very different from the life your dad lives. Is it just because he is famous man who comes on television and inspires a million others. A person who looks happy all the times, and says that he's just happy with what he does. Do you think you'll watch his show if started crying on television about how he too feels that life is just a shit hole and nothing? At various times in life, people try to associate meaning with life just because they all know it deep down that there is nothing they can do about it. That we are all just chained up and the best we can do is to stop thinking about how bleak things are and just wear a happy mask that other people notice and thereby distract us from slipping to where we know we will never return from.

People do The Art Of Living course, they join the Landmark Forum because they somehow, amazingly alleviate their suffering. For what i know its just like repainting the your home. For many years the paint will stick to the walls, but then it'll slowly age and fall off. You can't stop the rains and the harsh sunlight and the strong winds from thrashing away the glory of your walls. All you can do is just repaint, and repaint and repaint until the day your home eventually collapses.

I don't want to wear any paint of any sort and any color. I understand that this pain and suffering is all we are ordained to have and happiness is just a part and parcel of life. I don't want to challenge the norms and commit suicide, i don't want to end my life so soon. I just want to live and see how much more my beliefs strengthen, and by beliefs i mean the beliefs in my philosophy and then i want to live to see myself die. I want to talk to a man whose about to die, for no Gautam Buddha, no sage, no Sri Sri Ravi Shankar holds more wisdom than a man who knows that he's about to die. The end of it all, the end of suffering, the end of happiness, the end of attachment ! Freed from the chains of misery, no life to look forward to, no life to look back at, just slipping in the vacuum of time, all by yourself, slowly and surely slipping from the memories of the near and dear ones, as the notion of your life fades away, and it all becomes clear that it never was the way you thought it was, and how your life was as inconsequential as you always feared it to be :)

Gosh, Why Do I Leave The Title For The End

No Dude! Please Dude!

Listen Me Out, Wont you?

Wont you be my virtual friend. Wont you want to know whats happened to me?

Wont you want to know why i am not online these days and why i am just so indifferent.

Okay, to cut things short, i'm just not doing good. Its not about work and intern and new city and the weather. Its just the first time i have felt a nostalgia so overpowering that every time i listen to "Coming Back To Life", not only does every plucked string send a shiver down my spine, but it also eventually lands me up in tears. By the way you have to hide your face every time you cry in office. But then its not that it is unmanageable or something.

You know my eyes are so heavy now, just after a fresh dose of the same song i mentioned above, i can barely write but i have to because i need to. Its been that kind of a week. I guess it all started after i decided to just read through the very old scraps on orkut. Its just that refreshing smell of the friendship i got which has changed into that stale air in a matter of 3 years. I used to talk to so many friends at that time which i do no more and i just don't know how to put it words i feel when i go through those scraps. Its like how hugely we all have changed in just 3 years. Turned into more stupid, less intelligent, ironically more responsible and mature human beings. All this time i kept bragging how i have never changed and how i never want to change but as a matter of fact, i have and it hurts when i introspect, but time does that to everyone, this i have realized and accepted. I have never felt so lonely in life. In BITS whenever i used to feel this way i had some one or the other in whom i confided in, but there is no-one here. I am just a wanderer on my own, talking on the phone doesn't help and neither do Gtalk chats. I just so want to vent out my feelings but they keep piling up. I miss the times in college. Just miss the first year ki masti, just miss the DudePana of the second year, miss the Rape of the 3rd year. Miss school, miss home, miss behen, miss Zappi, miss everyone. I just wish at least one of my really good friends was here right now. But time is the best healer, its the best doctor and the best surgeon. I hope it will do its job well. And Now that i'm already crying, i wont stop myself this time too, so guys bye. And i so miss all the good and the bad times.

Take Care.

The Division Bell

The ever so mesmerising piano from _Clocks_ fills my mind with reveries. Sweet memories of the times i've spent with my close friends in this desert. But there is a strange apprehension building up. Apprehension about parting from some of my best friends. Isn't it strange? Together, tethered to the this place for 3 years and on one fine day, it dawns upon you that half of your batchmates are gone ? Gone forever ?Gone for good, gone for bad? No one's going to be evaluating the answer to this question. To each his own. Only time will tell. But the fact that they'll be gone stays. I don't intend to make all my readers land up in tears, but just that all should keep an eye on the calender, the days when you start missing your chunchun draw near :)
Its been a really nice semester. Friends have been kind to me and i have been loyal to them. For starters i have cemented my bond with most of the people i had intended to. I knew this was my last chance. This place has given me something, and i'll not be leaving empty handed. Though not many but some really good friends indeed. This is my return gift and i am glad. Though i haven't been as lucky in academics. But i intend not to give up on life. There is so much more to explore and will sooner or later find my Love. No big deal. So many things happened this semester, starting from the trip to hills with haRAMis, 3 days i will never ever forget. The night of 25th January will henceforth be celebrated as Booze night every year and where ever you are ( u know if i'm taking bout u ) you shall drink to mark the love we have for each other remembering all the good times we've spent. Then the batch snaps, which i was so hesitant about initially. Batch snaps was the best thing to happen this semester. Then the 7 day trip with my sis to her and my place and yeah we've come so much closer sis and you know. Finally came the year book and again i was hesitant in giving/taking write-ups. But u know i like these u-turns so much. I like to take longer paths to the same destination not because i'm a loser, but because i like to explore each and every possibility before i finally decide upon something. All the write-ups have landed me in tears. Some reminded me of old times, some just showed how much people care for me. Every write-up is extremely valuable and will remain with me for the rest of my life. Thanks Nitya, Ghana, Gujju, Ghiya and Toffi :)
To those who were not able to write 'write-ups' fot their close friends, i request you to give testimonials on social networking websites to them. You will not understand the importance of a testimonial unless you get one from a close friend.Go give it a try.
This is by far the least time i've put in writing any post and i guess it shows. But then it had been too long and i wanted to blog about whatever was going through my mind. With Clocks playing for the n-th time in loop, i will take leave with just a passing thought.

The Days are drawing near;
And we won't be together anymore;
And I'll just say;
While the sun shines, make hay!

PS: That was pretty shitty i guess :P
But yeah 4 weeks left, enjoy each other's company while ur still together. Ciao. :)