Friday, February 13, 2009

Rational fears, Irrational behavior

The pressure was building. With peers bringing out new posts @ the rate of 111 per day, i felt i was begining to lose another race and hence immediate action was required and what results is another bullshit post for i can’t write sensible stuff at all.
So there are weak personalities on Earth i thought, only to find out that even weaker exist. They are not only weak personalities, they are simply pathetic people. WIth brains that don’t function and with hearts that can’t sense emotion. People who have a sense of humor so bad , you want to slap their face every time they try to crack you up. People who are so damn engorssed in thinking about themselves all day long, they don’t care about what others have to say. People who look into the mirror and take pride in what they see, when in fact they are mere condescending maggets who look more ugly than your barber’s crap ever did.
Yeah well, so one month of the penultimate semester has passed, though not in the blink of an eye. This time i have felt everyday, every hour go by very slowly. I have no fear of missing my friends here because frankly i did not make many. This sem everyone is busy with their studies because after all every one has a vision, a dream to fulfill. So people hardly care to buzz on Gtalk, they shy away from going to night canteens with you lest you might end up wasting one hour of their extremely important lives. I wish them luck, but luck is a bitch mind you. And then there are people who won’t come on gtalk at all. As long as it serves them good i wish them too all the success in their endeavors, keeping in mind that only very few actually succeed and i don’t see any such personalities around me.
I went to a trip to the hills a few days back. It was the best thing to happen in a very long time. I was close to nature, and i loved it. In the mountains with cold breeze blowing on your face, i realized what shit we humans have turned their lives into. But nevermind for everyone has different set of priorities and the same applies to me too.
Looking back down on my yester years i feel like crying sometimes. But then the same goes for most of you, am i right? Those were the years to relish. I used to e a pretty optimistic guy back then. That
time i did not study for a purpose, i studied for the sheer pleasure studying brought me. I don’t know what the problem is but i can’t seem to find any subjects anymore. The only reason i’m studying this sem is because i want to improve my CGPA, not knowing if it will even help me in any way or not. But yeah there is the constant nagging from my parents side and i dont want to let them down.
Yeah but there is one thing that keeps me interested this sem and that is all the beautiful girls we see around campus this sem. I don’t know where from they have suddenly appeared but its a pleasant surprise none the less. And yeah i wan’t to relish my penultimate semester, so i won’t disclose any of the things which hurt me or keep me sad. I can’t waste your precious time. I on the other hand am not out of time at all, i like to live and learn at my pace and these bullshit exams won’t bog me down, though it hurts when my efforts fail fruition. There are people who i’ll be seeing for the last time and it is my request that they don’t mind if i block them or remove them from my Gtalk list forever.

Finally you are requested not to post any nonsense comments. If you agree with me, then put forth anything that brings new light to the dark story. If you don’t agree then i request

you to keep your fingers off that keyboard.
” Earn you bread, Or thank heavens for what you have.”

My Chemical Romance

As you sit in your dormitory, with your computer as the only one to giving you company, you read the following conversation you just had:

x:

hiii

Amit:

well !
hi

x:

kya hua??

Amit:

nothing

x:

kya chal raha hai??

Amit:

kuch khaas nahi

Sent at 7:54 PM on Monday
Amit:

kya chal raha hai??

x:

songs sun rahi hoon
:)

x:

ok

Sent at 7:58 PM on Monday
Amit:

kya hua kuch baat karne ko nahi ?

x:

arey kuch search kar rahi thi
tu bata kuch
kya kya kiya holz me??

x:

maasi k ghar gaya kuch din
aur baaki time ek dost k saath nikaal diya

x:

hmm
hmm
delhi me hi
??

Amit:

zyada dost nahi rh gaye hain
ab to contacts ban kar reh gaye hain vo
nahi maasi dehradoon mein th

x:

snowfall hui vahan??

Amit:

nahi

x:

kahin busy ho kya tum abhi??

Amit:

mai hheee
mai kabhi busy nahi hota yaar

x:

acha
hmmmm
i c

Amit:

mai apne aap ko chhodkar sabhi ko busy paata hoon
ye to maine bataya bhee hai

x:

arey
numb3rs dekha hai tumne?/

Amit:

nahi
kyu

x:

bohat sahi hai
dekh na

Amit:

nahi

x:

acha hai
sahi me

Amit:

i know
i just dont want to

x:

acha

Amit:

tune dekha hai kya
?

x:

tabhi to bol rahi hoon

Amit:

nahi matlab dekh rahi hai kya ?

x:

naa
abhi nahi dekh rahi
but dekha hai maine

Amit:

okay
there is a series on DC titled ’story of india’
watch that
and also ‘man vs wild’

You realize you never expected such a dull conversation with someone who you thought, was pretty close to you. You then buzz your sister and ask her for after dinner walk. She agrees. You move out of your room, not switching the lights off because you fear the dark. You meet her. You don’t greet her, but the eyes say it all for you. You walk through different areas of the campus. You see girls and boys together, in small groups and in big groups. You see some of the groups making noise, girls and boys alike, laughing loud. Sometimes you see the odd girl and boy holding hands, and giggling on certain occasions. As you pass them, you look into the girl’s eyes and you know from inside that it is not just a look that you give, its a probing stare but you let them pass without a saying a word. You don’t know them after all. Finally you accompany your sister to her hostel. You don’t say goodbye. You just turn back. Again your eyes saying what your mouth couldn’t.

You come back to your dormitory. You switch on the computer and listen to an ‘Emo’ band. You ponder over the fact that you are bginning to see more and more girls on campus and that too with guys. The only problem is that none of the girls you saw were from your batch. Thousands of reasons cross your mind as to why this happened. The one which you have the hardest time accepting but the one that easily explains everything is that you are just plain unlucky. But blaiming it on bad luck doesn’t help the purpose. As you ponder more, you get an idea. The idea is to blog about whatever you felt.
What results, is this post.
But as you come towards the end of the post you feel you might have digressed too much into the girl-boy topic. But anyways you expect people to understand. Every batch mate of yours feels the same way, only you decided to say it in words and publicly.
As you end the following line still rings in your brain : When you go/ Would you even turn to say/ “I don’t love you/ Like I did/ Yesterday”
You let the lines sink deep into you and you stop writing.

No time for a suitable Title

There are days when People like giving a long hard thought on how to go about beginning a new post and make a really good impression on the reader, thereby with unobtrusive naivety, giving first impression is the last impression a whole new sick, decadent and spineless meaning. To hell i say because it don’t mean no shit to me.

Okay. So, today apparently doesn’t happen to be one of those days and _The plebeian_ would have no problems admitting to the fact. Arrogance? Maybe. Unjustified? Overruled. Crap? I concede.

Today i thought about people. Yeah, People. Some of them are your friends, some of them are not friends, yet they are friends none the less. Maybe not your friends, but, someone Else’s friends. Must be. How can a person not be a friend to anyone. The conjecture, need  not feed on some Einstein’s mechanical mind for its proof . Even you guys can prove it. To each, his own ,they say, and they say it so well. But the fact is that no one needs to prove the veracity of the assumptions he takes in building the proof. And thus we have 6 billion or so different proofs, unpublished but True, none the less.

Secondly Nations don’t feed on infrastructure for growth, the feed on the minds of the citizens. The better the quality, the faster the growth. Growth that, not necessarily can be verified and put on paper, but growth that reflects on peoples‘ faces. Nothing holds back a nation like one thing. And that happens to be double standards which People follow, pursue, practice but never acknowledge because nobody tells them that they follow them. No. Actually, they don’t follow it voluntarily. They become a part of it. Jumping in the bandwagon never served anyone any good. Wake up to the fact, or you can stay as you are, ’cause you know what they said about ignorance being bliss and all.

You has to be very careful in selecting People who will be the future victims of thecaustic crap you will throw on them some day eventually. One mishit and you lose another friend nay you lose many, many friends.

Most importantly, i gave term to a strange feeling that i had been feeling for long. I like to call it Obfuscated Repugnance. Just browse through the pages of your 1million page oxford dic for a better understanding of  the rather hidden meaning.

Thus completes yet another adventure in trying to keep up with the People of this fast paced and developing nation. A place where People always end up playing the catch up game.