Thank You, Sapna Maun.

The concept behind the meaning of Rationality has eluded me since the time i started thinking about it. To put it in the simple words for the lesser mortals i'd say that the meaning of Rationality as stated in the dictionary doesn't make sense to me at all.

For starters let me just pull out the definition of the word from an online dictionary:

rationality [ˌræʃəˈnælɪtɪ]

n pl -ties

1. the state or quality of being rational or logical

2. the possession or utilization of reason or logic

3. a reasonable or logical opinion

Here you go. Read it? Just read that one more time. Done that? Do it again. Re-re-read? Did you notice a peculiar thing? Or maybe it is just me, that is precisely why i am writing this post; but the meaning doesn't grow upon you with every re-read that you give it, and on the contrary it seems to die down. The definition is contorted. What really is ridiculous and fake about this definition is that the words used to define the term Rationality aren't any easier to be defined themselves. The above reference is to the words 'quality', 'reason' and 'logic'. Now, you could stop and think over it, or just carry on reading because human beings tend to seek the easy way out, Always.

The problem i guess is that rationality is a subjective term. I mean something may seem logical to one person, while it may seem illogical to the other. Mind you, i'll be using the term rationality and logic interchangeably. Say for example there are four people, who stay together and have just had a very heavy dinner at a restaurant 5 km. from their home. For going back they could either take an auto who would charge Rs 10 per person, or they could walk back which is always an option if you don't have time and stamina as constraints. For some reason three people feel like walking back home, because it will help digesting food. They 4th guy argues; well, you could walk a km if you like but 5kms is like wtf?! But then everyone also earns decent money and the three of them enter a sort of argument with the other guy justifying how walking will help them digest food and save money too. The 4th guy then gives up on the argument and prefers to take the auto which charges him 40 rupees. He reaches home half an hour before every one does, but feels sad about how he couldn't convince the others to take the auto along with him which could have saved him 30 rupees. Strange, the ways of the world, he feels. Basically he realized it turned out to be some ego issue with a 3 on 1 situation and survival of the 'fittest' too. Is the 4th guy doomed for life if he doesn't change his ways? Is he not respecting evolution?

Well, if you ask me to analyse the above story, no body was irrational. Everyone just did what made sense to him. I mean the 4th guy could say the other guys were fools, wanting to save 10 rupees and walking 5Kms for that, but something will stop him. That is he can't just say what made sense to him is the best possible thing. It may be for him, but not for others. This is the heart of the discussion. You can never claim that at any given moment your actions were rational and what others did was irrational, for the very simple reason stated above. People have different levels of intelligence, things that make sense to one person are different than things that make sense to other people. While there may be many people who will buy your argument but you just cannot convince the whole world into believing in your definition of rationality. Take for example this blog post, it will make sense to many and not so much sense to others. Its all about feelings and perceptions and these, vary from people to people. Then, why, may i ask, is there a need to define rationality when no one is qualified enough to grasp its meaning.

But and this is a big BUT, there will always be some enlightened men, who gauge both sides of an argument and scrutinize the very process of defining rationality and then move on without defining rationality as a word but taking it as believing in something that makes sense, for the benefit of the whole society, always weighing in situations thoroughly before jumping to conclusions, understanding the very subtle argument that people with increasing amounts of intuitive powers and the intelligence to distinguish between intuition and prejudice, will have increasing amounts of clarity of the meaning of rationality and logic. With this heavy realization i have nothing more to say but that, I take pride in the fact, that I am one such man.

I am not one among you, don't count me as your normal friend. I am very different from what you are, i am neither a superior nor an inferior, i belong to a different dimension, a different universe altogether. Thanks for your time. Ciao.

Akash Srivastava, Amit Gupta, Karan Grover, Sunanda Khosla

In mathematics and physics, the dimension of a space or object is informally defined as the minimum number of coordinates needed to specify each point within it.

The Definition is so repulsive that it sucks. Dimension to me is something that everyone perceives in the same manner, be it formal or informal. There is no definition a layman ascribes to dimensions. It is just a notion of walls, boundaries and edges. We see the length, breadth and height and these are the three dimensions for us, which are a result of associating space with coordinates. But then the dimensions were introduced to us as a part of making us educated men, though how the notion of knowing dimensions help in making a man educated still makes me scratch my head. A mason knows that he has to arrange bricks on a floor, unknowingly formalizing the notion of length and breadth, plus he has to stack them one on top of the other to give it a space objects can occupy; thus formalizing what height means as a dimension.

Now Sir Albert Einstein felt something missing in his life. He thought that with life, we grow older and die, so time also is another thing that every human perceives in equality and in equanimity. Thus it helped him conclude that Time just has to be dimension, supported by the argument that in this universe every event can only be described in completion when you specify the coordinates of the place where it happened and also tell when it happened. One example i can state here is if i were to describe the death of my Grandfather, in its completion, i must say when he died along with the coordinates of space where he took his last breath. So far so great. Mathematically formalized, makes physics great, gave the world a new notion of what relativity means.

The only question i have against it is that does everyone has the same notion of what time is? Does everyone perceive of time in the same manner? If you and i think of length, breadth and height as the same, does it mean that we rationalize time in similar ways too? I'm sorry i don't think so. Okay, in support of my argument i'd like to introduce you to two people, Vybap and Gipmu. Now Vybap just went to a trek in the hills, a trek deep into the higher ranges of the Himalayas.He went there for a week with a few mates of his. Every single day brought him a new challenge, he had to overcome his worst fears, saw the untouched beauty of nature which filled him with awe and reverence, in conclusion, he had the time of his life. The week for him passed so quickly that he never even felt time sliding by. He relives the time he spent through his memories amazed by how fast time really flies.

Gipmu on the other hand had the worst week of his life. He proposed to the girl he loved from the deepest trenches of the ocean of love that he carries in is heart, but the girl refused. He could never understand how the girl could never decipher his feelings and all he got was a cold No, a no that he won't soon forget. During this week he talked to his closest friends who tried to console him but then deep down he got hurt. He couldn't concentrate at all, didn't sleep well and some part of him died that week. Later he said "this was The worst week ever, did someone freeze time for me? Because I think its been ages since i proposed and got a No."

Well. Be honest and tell me if you realized that these people had a different notion of how the 604 800 seconds went by. Vybap almost couldn't realize how time flew and Gipmu could feel every second taking its toll on him and the notion of time grow heavy with every passing second. Time for me is not what everyone perceives in the same manner. For happy people there is no feeling of time passing by, for people who are sad every passing minute makes them realize the sluggishness of time.

Is it then justified to call time a dimension at all, just because it makes Physics interesting and helps the humans delve deeper into discovering what laws govern this Universe and what is life after all? Hasn't it yet dawned on you how fast the three years of your engineering have flown by and this fucking semester never seems to end? What the Fuck is Time?

This is an Eye Catching Title

I keep waiting for these phases in life when i feel both down and out. The whole world then just shrinks down and i start thinking a lot. A lot more than i usually do. But then i don't think about the things i normally think about. I think about death, and how fascinating death really is. I mean its THE only thing that removes all the pain and all the suffering from human life just like that. Human death brings pain to the near and dear ones but then suffering is a part of life, and really its a vicious circle and no one can escape it. For all i care about, i'm just eagerly awaiting the day it will all end for me.

Enough talking about death, its time to talk about life. Life in all its glory is meaningless. People who could never find any meaning in life tried to give it some meaning, while others wasted their time on this earth cribbing about how there is no purpose they can attach to their lives. Some people think they are leading a life different from others. Take for example how one fine day you could say that Bear Grylls leads a life very different from the life your dad lives. Is it just because he is famous man who comes on television and inspires a million others. A person who looks happy all the times, and says that he's just happy with what he does. Do you think you'll watch his show if started crying on television about how he too feels that life is just a shit hole and nothing? At various times in life, people try to associate meaning with life just because they all know it deep down that there is nothing they can do about it. That we are all just chained up and the best we can do is to stop thinking about how bleak things are and just wear a happy mask that other people notice and thereby distract us from slipping to where we know we will never return from.

People do The Art Of Living course, they join the Landmark Forum because they somehow, amazingly alleviate their suffering. For what i know its just like repainting the your home. For many years the paint will stick to the walls, but then it'll slowly age and fall off. You can't stop the rains and the harsh sunlight and the strong winds from thrashing away the glory of your walls. All you can do is just repaint, and repaint and repaint until the day your home eventually collapses.

I don't want to wear any paint of any sort and any color. I understand that this pain and suffering is all we are ordained to have and happiness is just a part and parcel of life. I don't want to challenge the norms and commit suicide, i don't want to end my life so soon. I just want to live and see how much more my beliefs strengthen, and by beliefs i mean the beliefs in my philosophy and then i want to live to see myself die. I want to talk to a man whose about to die, for no Gautam Buddha, no sage, no Sri Sri Ravi Shankar holds more wisdom than a man who knows that he's about to die. The end of it all, the end of suffering, the end of happiness, the end of attachment ! Freed from the chains of misery, no life to look forward to, no life to look back at, just slipping in the vacuum of time, all by yourself, slowly and surely slipping from the memories of the near and dear ones, as the notion of your life fades away, and it all becomes clear that it never was the way you thought it was, and how your life was as inconsequential as you always feared it to be :)

Bubble and Chubble Talk _the_ Talk

Arjit: i want to be the boy in ur dreams

me: i dont drea of boys

Arjit: no boy ever appeared in ur dreams ??

impossible

me: sorry man but u just rammed into a truck load of bad luck

Arjit: thats wud be u => the truck load of bad luck

how was ur presentation

i didnt respond yesterday

me: presentation nvr happnd

he saw the product

Arjit: cuz i saw it later

me: and i dont giv a fcuk if he liked it or hated it

tho they said it was appreciated i dont believe it

Arjit: why not?

me: coz i wasnt there so basically ..!..

idc because idk

Arjit: i usually don't get ur short forms

this is one of those times

me: i dont care because i dont know

idc coz idk

Arjit: hmmm...thats strange..for something u worked so hard for and lost ur night's sleep !!

that's worth one min of VP's attention

me: yeah thats why i jus decided im not joining this firm

if u cant giv recognition u cant expect me to work

thats it

i mean i want to be the arjun who will eventually succeed

but there is no krishna who would vouch for that

Arjit: there is no krishna in ne other company either.. that'll just mean u won't join ne company

no guarantee of getting recognition newhere..

just gotta keep trying

and trusting ur luck

me: hmm atleast somme other guys will pay me more

Arjit: hehehe

now thats an argument

me: i m not willing to work for 6 lks

Arjit: thats valid

me: and do work that i dont even like

i'd better sit at home

u know i'd like to say this

i always pretend to be a normal guy, but in the end i nvr end up being the normal guy

hehehh and thats not blowing my own trumpet coz i aint proud of that

its just that it recurs time after time

Arjit: we're all wannabee normal ..no point trying..we're too far from it

i wish someone caught swine flu in symantec

we'll get a vacation

ppl r generally taking leaves in other companies

me: well i get a 9 da off

i dont like my work that much

i spend my time doing other stuff

heheheh

but it was a challenge and i fucked it

well see i'd giv the impression that im working hard

and im interested in the firm

Arjit: no u nailed it...wrong word

me: but thats not true

its the way u go about a challenge

Arjit: atleast tu mann maar kar kaam kar sakta hai

me: its all about the killer instinct man which we all have been lacking

u think that way ?

Arjit: ur work in PS is testimony for that

me: well its a challenge at ur personal level

i mean if somebody dies in ur family

u have to learn to live wihtout them

u cant bring'em back right

Arjit: ya...

me: so its like zeher peete chalo

hoping ull strike upon amrit some day

Arjit: so was it a necessity ?? or u took it as a challenge..wat was the driving force

me: driving force was the killer instinct spirit which i need to rekindle

Sent at 3:50 PM on Wednesday

me: i mean u gotta learn something out of it

and guess thats the best teaching i take out of the whole situation

Arjit: u rem...abt one yr bak we used to talk of the same things..and u said i'll never do something i don't like doing...thats the way i am

while i said somethings are necesaary..can't do without em

me: yesss :)

Arjit: things sure have changed

me: i so remember that

but then dont u think i took it in a better spirit now

i mean if i am free ill do waht i want

Arjit: yess..im glad

me: but then if i cant help it

why challenge the system if u know ull fail

it'll only bring more pain

why not take it as a challenge to come out

with the confidence that u can do anything

and add that in ur stride

when ur pursuing what u've always wanted

Arjit: that's wat is driving u...i got it...u know ur pursuing wat u've always wanted

god i so wish that was me saying

me: u jus gave me goosbumps

i mean we caan jus egg each other on so well

dont u think ur doing what u've always wanted

?

Arjit: not rite now...in the company

me: i mean now that u are doing cat preps

Arjit: ya thats all fine

me: where is the problem then ?

Arjit: i wish i cud get rid of this PS..which btw consumes 75% of my time and energy

me: am i not in the same position

and u my friend are no less in any form than i am

Arjit: but thats part of the process for u...for me it's like completely out of the way

Sent at 3:59 PM on Wednesday

me: it is not even that contrasting , i mean i havent ben telling u what i do these days

but i'd not like to now

also

Arjit: hmmm..thats rite

me: but believe me the picture isnt that rosy at all

i jus wanna see u fuck some shit real hard man

u have all it takes

just the patience is all u need

and i mean the day u start working on it

you'll only keep building it

its like the dirt, if u leave the room as it is and dont disturb it, itll keep accumulating on its own

:)

Arjit: hehe...thnx man..

means a lot to me

i solved my first mock cat today

nailed it !!

me: nice!

but at office

hehehe

Arjit: no...at office alrite..but in the morning..5-8

me: :O

Arjit: i often spend the nite at office

same for dalal

me: nite at office

?

whoa man

Arjit: ya..there r bunk beds here

me: yeah yeah even here but thats good man

:)

Arjit: lot of peace for studying...plus the house is a big mes

me: awesome infact

hehe

well u deserve an applause

clap

Arjit: loda clap...for sleeping in the office...wat a loser i am !!

the janitors luk at me in amazement :D

hahaha

me: no for taking out time for ur dreams

Arjit: hehe

ppl know i stay all the time...they just don't have the right to sy nething

it's weird

*say

me: heheh :D

u shudnt care about that, and i know that u dont

Arjit: exactly

me: chalo man its tym to do what i like to do :)

heheeh

will catchya later

Arjit: sure

me: this chat is my blogpost

Arjit: 1111

tata

me: ciao

ohh n btw its my time to eat

ha ha :D

Arjit: stuff all u want

Sent at 4:10 PM on Wednesday

Tête-à-Tête

In times like these, its hard to take some time out for yourself. You find yourself in a new city, miles away from college, just swarming with people you don't know, faces you don't recognize, expressions you can't understand, emotions you can't comprehend, talents you can't judge, smiles you can't respond to, security you can't breach, authority you can't challenge, tension that gives you sleepless hours in the bed, aspirations that fly high in the sky, appreciation lurking in the altars, fame that begs to be grabbed, names that ought to be taken and hopes you hope will come true.

Its hard to picture yourself against the alien surroundings, and it forces you to go back to your

shell, your comfort zone, back to the place where you belong, where you already have an identity, the same cube of which you have been a part for so long, where the huge walls don't scare you, and in fact where the walls shield you and keep you warm. The challenge of carving a new niche for yourself seems a daunting task, but its a challenge you just have to accept because first, life doesn't give you the time to look back in time, and secondly life only makes sense

when you look backwards, so at every moment moving forward is the only sensible choice.

Today I choose to write about myself. In a sense it gives me the impression that i am really

devoting myself the time i deserve and not the time that i need; trying to understand myself

by delving deeper into what I say and how I react to various situations and the way my

thought process works. It also gives me a chance to present myself to the world minus all the

sham and the embellishment. But then its only me who vouches for the fact that the information

here hasn't been garnished in a way that makes it more presentable and there is no one to verify

my claims here, but that it is the way I feel about myself and i wish that somehow you would

understand.

From being the guy who is totally into metal to being a guy who's favourite song happens to be

'Coming Back To Life'; from being the guy who screwed up acads in his college life to being the

guy who feels like repeating every damn course they taught in college just to show that he still

has the desire to learn; from being a guy who does almost anything to make people laugh and

goes on to crack jokes on himself to being the guy who weeps in his heart of hearts at times and

finds it almost impossible to get through what he actuallly feels like; from being the guy who

wants to help his friends get out of their shit to being the guy who actually ends up doing nothing

to alleviate their pain; from being the guy who almost does things without taking any self into

account most of the times to being a guy who ends up being called selfish most of the times; from being a guy who still likes to solves those math puzzles, collect those coins, still pursuing those chilhood hobbies to being the guy who still likes to look into the night sky, not observing anything but just gazing at those stars hoping to go into space some day; from being the guy who dreamt of becoming a really big shot astrophysict to being the guy who now just wants to spend an unobtrusive life; from being a guy who likes to talk less to being the guy who ends up saying more; from being a guy who thinks that every human being is equal to being the guy who regards

himself above all others when it comes to applying common sense; from being a guy who likes

to keep a low profile to being the guy who ends up getting all the undeserved attention; from

being the guy who just loves to speak his mind to being the guy who always ends up dishonouring lost of the people; from being the guy who does thing the best when he does it the first time to being the guy who gets bored of anyhting and everything; from being a guy who never shows that he cares to being the guy who loves some people from the core of his heart; from being a guy who wants to change himslef to being the guy who thinks that he is best the way he is; from being a guy who loves life to being a guy who finds life pointless and from being the guy who always starts a blogpost with a certain intention to being a guy who ends up saying nothing at all.

I keep discovering and rediscovering myself. Life is short, and I learn from the river. The river

never stops for anyone, and so won't I.

Thanks for the time, ciao.

Gosh, Why Do I Leave The Title For The End

No Dude! Please Dude!

Listen Me Out, Wont you?

Wont you be my virtual friend. Wont you want to know whats happened to me?

Wont you want to know why i am not online these days and why i am just so indifferent.

Okay, to cut things short, i'm just not doing good. Its not about work and intern and new city and the weather. Its just the first time i have felt a nostalgia so overpowering that every time i listen to "Coming Back To Life", not only does every plucked string send a shiver down my spine, but it also eventually lands me up in tears. By the way you have to hide your face every time you cry in office. But then its not that it is unmanageable or something.

You know my eyes are so heavy now, just after a fresh dose of the same song i mentioned above, i can barely write but i have to because i need to. Its been that kind of a week. I guess it all started after i decided to just read through the very old scraps on orkut. Its just that refreshing smell of the friendship i got which has changed into that stale air in a matter of 3 years. I used to talk to so many friends at that time which i do no more and i just don't know how to put it words i feel when i go through those scraps. Its like how hugely we all have changed in just 3 years. Turned into more stupid, less intelligent, ironically more responsible and mature human beings. All this time i kept bragging how i have never changed and how i never want to change but as a matter of fact, i have and it hurts when i introspect, but time does that to everyone, this i have realized and accepted. I have never felt so lonely in life. In BITS whenever i used to feel this way i had some one or the other in whom i confided in, but there is no-one here. I am just a wanderer on my own, talking on the phone doesn't help and neither do Gtalk chats. I just so want to vent out my feelings but they keep piling up. I miss the times in college. Just miss the first year ki masti, just miss the DudePana of the second year, miss the Rape of the 3rd year. Miss school, miss home, miss behen, miss Zappi, miss everyone. I just wish at least one of my really good friends was here right now. But time is the best healer, its the best doctor and the best surgeon. I hope it will do its job well. And Now that i'm already crying, i wont stop myself this time too, so guys bye. And i so miss all the good and the bad times.

Take Care.