As you sit in your dormitory, with your computer as the only one to giving you company, you read the following conversation you just had:
x:
hiii
Amit:
well !
hi
x:
kya hua??
Amit:
nothing
x:
kya chal raha hai??
Amit:
kuch khaas nahi
Sent at 7:54 PM on Monday
Amit:
kya chal raha hai??
x:
songs sun rahi hoon
x:
ok
Sent at 7:58 PM on Monday
Amit:
kya hua kuch baat karne ko nahi ?
x:
arey kuch search kar rahi thi
tu bata kuch
kya kya kiya holz me??
x:
maasi k ghar gaya kuch din
aur baaki time ek dost k saath nikaal diya
x:
hmm
hmm
delhi me hi
??
Amit:
zyada dost nahi rh gaye hain
ab to contacts ban kar reh gaye hain vo
nahi maasi dehradoon mein th
x:
snowfall hui vahan??
Amit:
nahi
x:
kahin busy ho kya tum abhi??
Amit:
mai hheee
mai kabhi busy nahi hota yaar
x:
acha
hmmmm
i c
Amit:
mai apne aap ko chhodkar sabhi ko busy paata hoon
ye to maine bataya bhee hai
x:
arey
numb3rs dekha hai tumne?/
Amit:
nahi
kyu
x:
bohat sahi hai
dekh na
Amit:
nahi
x:
acha hai
sahi me
Amit:
i know
i just dont want to
x:
acha
Amit:
tune dekha hai kya
?
x:
tabhi to bol rahi hoon
Amit:
nahi matlab dekh rahi hai kya ?
x:
naa
abhi nahi dekh rahi
but dekha hai maine
Amit:
okay
there is a series on DC titled ’story of india’
watch that
and also ‘man vs wild’
You realize you never expected such a dull conversation with someone who you thought, was pretty close to you. You then buzz your sister and ask her for after dinner walk. She agrees. You move out of your room, not switching the lights off because you fear the dark. You meet her. You don’t greet her, but the eyes say it all for you. You walk through different areas of the campus. You see girls and boys together, in small groups and in big groups. You see some of the groups making noise, girls and boys alike, laughing loud. Sometimes you see the odd girl and boy holding hands, and giggling on certain occasions. As you pass them, you look into the girl’s eyes and you know from inside that it is not just a look that you give, its a probing stare but you let them pass without a saying a word. You don’t know them after all. Finally you accompany your sister to her hostel. You don’t say goodbye. You just turn back. Again your eyes saying what your mouth couldn’t.
You come back to your dormitory. You switch on the computer and listen to an ‘Emo’ band. You ponder over the fact that you are bginning to see more and more girls on campus and that too with guys. The only problem is that none of the girls you saw were from your batch. Thousands of reasons cross your mind as to why this happened. The one which you have the hardest time accepting but the one that easily explains everything is that you are just plain unlucky. But blaiming it on bad luck doesn’t help the purpose. As you ponder more, you get an idea. The idea is to blog about whatever you felt.
What results, is this post.
But as you come towards the end of the post you feel you might have digressed too much into the girl-boy topic. But anyways you expect people to understand. Every batch mate of yours feels the same way, only you decided to say it in words and publicly.
As you end the following line still rings in your brain : When you go/ Would you even turn to say/ “I don’t love you/ Like I did/ Yesterday”
You let the lines sink deep into you and you stop writing.
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